The 6 differences you didn’t know between nEGOtiation and mindful negotiation that likely cost your organization money. CONCEDE TO CLOSE WITHOUT GETTING ANY RETURN

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This is the final part of this mastery series. We are exploring the 6 differences you didn’t know between nEGOtiation and mindful negotiation that is likely costing your organization money.

In the previous articles, we uncovered the first 5 differences between nEGOtiation and mindful: 1) Preparation, 2) In the meeting; it’s all about you, 3) your proposal is a win for you, and a lose for them, 4) your proposal is rejected, then what? 5) Going straight to your limit

Today we will explore the 6th and final difference between nEGOtiations and mindful negotiation: concede to close without getting any return.

The closing moment in negotiation is the one where nEGOtiators feel the most vulnerable. We can sense the finish line, and the adrenaline is flowing. Our ego is telling us that we are already there, and we are ready to celebrate. We are excited to get the deal done, and we start to relax a bit when the other party makes one more demand.

Within half a second, we are going from letting our guard down a bit, starting to feel the excitement to a stress level never reached before as we have no time to think. Everything around us becomes blurred. We can feel our blood pressure rising, our chest tightening. Suddenly, we find ourselves drowning in a sea of emotions: we are scared of losing the deal if we disagree. We are afraid of losing face with our internal stakeholders if we can’t get the deal done. Our credibility is on the line. We try to focus on what else we can do to slow down time without doing it.

It feels like it is a severe threat, and our ego is freaking out. It wants us to say yes, so we can be done with that negotiation process. Most nEGOtiators will concede to get to the close without getting anything in return.

This is the area in the negotiation process where we would benefit from being mindful, as most nEGOtiators leave money on the table at that stage because they are afraid to lose the deal.

That is not the worst part. Many nEGOtiators are trained to wait until the last minute to come up with an additional demand. Do you know why? Because it works. They know that we’re getting excited to get the deal done. They know their request will trigger all kinds of fear in us about the agreement falling through, losing all the hard work we’ve put in, and losing face with our boss. They know we’ll want to say yes, to make sure the deal is closed. And so, they’ll hit us with extra demand in the hope that we’ll be too excited or too scared to deny it to them.

Closing is the single area in the negotiation process where margins get eroded as nEGOtiators will most likely give in.

When I debrief with nEGOtiators and point out that they gave in at the end without trading, they invariably say that they didn’t have any other choices. Sounds familiar? We discussed precisely the same point of view in the last blog where nEGOtiators didn’t feel they had a choice of going straight to or beyond their limit.

When our ego is in control, we begin unconsciously reacting, unable to slow down and take control of the moment.

When we concede to close, not only are we eroding the future margin of that contract, but we are also at risk of creating a precedent. We are setting a precedent by giving in at the last minute. We show the other party that their tactic works and teach them to behave the same way next negotiation.

Before exploring how a mindful negotiator would handle the same situation, I want to emphasize something else. You couldn’t agree with that last-minute request because it’s outside of your authority level, and the other party is asking to bring your boss and sometimes your boss’s boss. You think that you’re okay. You are not. There is a reason why a nEGOtiator will ask you to bring your boss. They want someone else to say yes to their demand.

Your boss or your boss’s boss might not be the best negotiator, but they are now in that moment a nEGOtiator, very much in their ego. They want to save the day, look like a hero, and keep the relationship intact, so they will likely give in before you even reach your chair to sit down.

You might feel good that you weren’t the person who gave in. However, the impact of the contract margin is the same, and the risk of a precedent is still very present. Just ask the other side to bring their boss, and it’s done.

A mindful negotiator knows that a last-minute is likely a tactic, a ploy to get an additional concession. Mindful negotiators know that they must continue with the trading process until reaching an agreement. It’s about being flexible with the approach.

Being mindful in that moment allows us to slow down time and take a step back to become an observer. There is a reason why the other party waited until the last minute to make that specific demand.

If the other side is asking for something small (cost for us) that we could accept, being mindful will help us to either trade it against something small coming back our way or use it as an exception to create goodwill.

However, if the nEGOtiator is asking for a major concession at the end, a mindful negotiator might take the control and power back by doing these two things:

1) Let the other side know that this is significant demand and share how surprised we are that they didn’t bring it up earlier in the conversation. By naming what is happening, we tell them that we see their game as a ploy or a tactic and aren’t intimidated by it.

2) Offering flexibility for that last-minute demand. This is not what we have negotiated so far. However, if this last-minute request is important for them, we can agree - as long as there is an adjustment of equal value for us in the deal. As a mindful negotiator, we didn’t let our ego take over by pushing back, arguing, or giving in. We have offered flexibility as long as the total value of the deal remains the same. Now the nEGOtiator on the other side owns their decision. We’ve given them a choice while still being in control of the conversation.

In my experience, more often than not, the other party will say something like “no, that’s okay,” and let go of that last-minute demand (as most of the time, it’s just a ploy to get something additional.

If the nEGOtiator insists that last-minute demand has to be part of the deal, being mindful helped manage expectations that we are not afraid of the last-minute request and are willing to offer flexibility as long as something of equal value comes back to the deal.

There you have it, the 6 differences you didn’t know between nEGOTIATORS and mindful negotiators that likely cost your organization money.

1) Preparation

2) In the meeting, it's all about you

3) Your proposal is a win for you, and a lose for them

4) Your proposal is rejected, then what?

5) Going straight to your limit

6) Concede to close without anything in return

As an individual, executive, or head of a division, can you assess how many of these 6 differences put you, your team, your organization in the nEGOtiation profile?

Only one of them? This is excellent. You are well above the norm. Your next step is to ensure that this single difference in the nEGOtiation bucket doesn’t affect the rest of your profile.

Two of them? This is very good. You are above the norm. Now you have identified two areas where you can improve your level of mastery. 

Three or more (Let’s be honest, very likely all of them). You are like most of us, often reacting to ego and not feeling in control or having any other choice. No point dwelling on it. It means that you are leaving serious money on the table without knowing it. This is the time to change your current trajectory, as what you’re doing now won’t lead to mastery.

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